Scars
by writetilltheinkrunsout
Summary: * TRIGGER WARNING!* Prim is not how everyone sees her. She may be sweet on the outside, but her mind is much darker. She has low self-esteem, and she cuts herself. She's moved into Victor's Village, but she just can't seem to cope. When she seems to be coping well, the 3rd Quarter Quell is announced. Prim feels herself spiraling, and finds herself talking to someone unexpected.
1. Chapter 1

**Warning, this story contains subjects about self harm and eating disorders. If you know this is a rough topic for you, I suggest you don't read. If you feel like you can handle it, read at your own risk. Plus if you every feel like you need to talk, my inbox is always open. - Writetilltheinkrunsout**

*After 74th Hunger Games*

Prim locks herself in the bathroom, and runs the bath tub. She searches the drawers for her box of blades, and sighs with relief when she finds them. Prim pulls up her sleeve, and starts cutting at her wrist. Not too deep, but not to shallow either. She watches in fascination as the blood rushes to the surface. The pain comes too, but she has to admit she likes it. The sting comes and goes as she cleans herself up.

"Prim you in there?" Katniss asks.

"Yeah, I'll be out in a second," She replies.

She hears Katniss' footsteps leave the door.

*1 month later*

Effie and the prep teams arrive early in the morning. Prim stands in the hallway, and tries not to bring attention to herself. Everyone is gawking at Katniss anyway. Effie looks at her, and then back to Katniss.

"Katniss is that your sister?" Effie asks.

Katniss nods.

"My how you've grown," Effie says going to stand by Prim.

Prim awkwardly stands next to the District 12 escort.

"Prim, may I have a word with you?" Effie asks.

"Uh sure," Prim says leading Effie to a empty room. She closes the door behind Effie, and turns around

"What do you want to talk about?" Prim asks pulling at the bottom of her sleeve.

Effie notices her doing that, but tries not to give it much thought. _I probably make her nervous._

"Well I want to ask for your forgiveness," Effie says.

"Forgiveness?" Prim asks completely confused.

"For pulling your name out of the reaping bowl," Effie replies.

"Effie, you don't have to apologize for that," Prim says shaking her head.

"Oh. but I feel like I should. No thanks to me, children from this District are dying year by year," Effie says putting her head down.

Prim can only stand in shock. Effie is not what she thought she was. Prim thought Effie didn't care about the kids she reaped. She thought she was just another Capitol citizen wanting to enjoy the Games from a different view.

"Effie...I don't know how to put this, but it's not really your fault. It's your job to read off the names. Do you really have a choice?" Prim asks.

" The Games are quite different than what you may think. Escorts are randomly picked, just as tributes are. When I received the letter in the saying I'm to be an escort for this District I had no choice. If I didn't accept, there would be many consequences that I would have to pay," Effie admits.

"I didn't know it was like that," Prim says.

"Sadly, but yes, the Capitol has it's faults too," Effie says.

Effie takes off her jacket, and hangs it on the back of a chair. Prim takes a quick look at Effie, and her gaze it drawn to her arms. Faint lines run up and down them in different directions.


	2. Sobbing wishes

Effie felt Prim's stare, and she crossed her arms.

"Sorry, I know it's rude to stare," Prim said looking down at her feet.

"You're fine." Effie says.

There was a knock on the door.

"Effie, are you in here?" Cinna asks.

"Yes, is there something wrong?" Effie asks.

"No, just want you to come take a look at Katniss," Cinna says.

"Okay, I'll be out in a minute," Effie replies.

Prim wanted so desperately to ask Effie about the scars, but she didn't want to be rude. Prim kept her head down.

"Listen to me Prim, I know that look in your eyes. I can also tell by the way you tug on your sleeves. I need you stop what you're doing," Effie says.

"But I can't" Prim says feeling her eyes get teary.

"I know it's a long process, but you can do it. I know you can," Effie says.

Prim gave in, and her tears fell. Effie wrapped her in a hug, and stroked her hair.

"Just let it all out," Effie says.

Prim cries into Effie's shirt. Sobs rack her small frame causing her to hiccup.

"I've tried...to stop, but I can't...it's too hard," Prim says between sobs.

"Well you don't have to do it alone," Effie says.

"You aren't going to tell my mother will you?" Prim asks.

The fear in Prim's eyes made Effie's heart hurt.

"If those are your wishes, I respect them," Effie says.


	3. Effie's past

**This is going to be a chapter about Effie's past, and what she's gone through. In case your guys are wondering I plan on making this at least an 8 chapter story. 10 chapters total would be a max for this one.**

* * *

Effie lived what can be called the perfect life. She comes from a wealthy family, and is absolutely beautiful with or without make-up. Effie on the other hand didn't see herself as beautiful. Each time someone gave her a compliment, she flinched. At fifteen years old, you're supposed to be enjoying life. Effie was doing the opposite. She hated herself with such a passion. She just couldn't add up to her mother like her sister Amelia does. Amelia is perfect, and always will be.

"Effie are you okay?" Her sister, Amelia asks.

"Yeah, just a little under the weather," Effie replies with a faint smile.

Amelia didn't question her anymore about it.

"Effie you sure are eating a lot," Effie's mother says.

"I didn't eat lunch today," Effie says.

"In your case, that's a good thing. Your face is getting kind of chubby," Effie's mother says.

"Leave the girl alone, if she wants to eat, let her," Effie's dad says.

"She's eating way too much. Amelia doesn't even eat that much, and she's older," Effie's mother retorts.

"I'm not hungry anymore," Effie says excusing herself from the table.\

Effie goes upstairs, and peels off her clothes. She looks in the mirror, and observes herself.

_Maybe I am gaining weight. My face does look awfully chubbier._

Effie shook her head at her thoughts, and got into the shower. Effie started to wash her hair, and then she noticed a stinging sensation in her arms.

_Damn, cuts open whenever I have to wash my hair._

Effie quickly rinsed her hair, and got out of the shower. She looked in her bathroom mirror, and looked for gauze. Effie was quick to bandage her wounds. Over the past year and a half, she's learned timing is everything. Effie's grown to tell how much blood will spill from each cut, and for how long. She's even learned how to properly stitch cuts that ended up way too deep.

Effie sat down on the edge of the of her bathtub. Her eyes meet the mirror, and the thoughts come back.

_It only takes a finger down the throat to do the trick._

With that, Effie found herself hunched over the toilet seat.


	4. Effie's past part 2

**This is going to be the second part of Effie's past. Also I don't plan on going by the books with this one. For the end, Prim is going to be alive instead of dead.**

Effie recollects herself, and puts on her robe. She goes into her closet, and pulls out a pair a pajamas.

"Effie?" Amelia asks.

"I'm not dressed," Effie replies.

"Are you okay? I thought I heard you retching from downstairs," Amelia says.

"Wasn't me. It must have been your imagination," Effie lies.

"As long as you're okay," Amelia says.

"Yeah, just going to bed a little early. I have so many test in the morning," Effie says.

"Okay, see you in the morning," Amelia says.

"Yeah...see you in the morning," Effie says.

* * *

That morning, Effie felt like crap. Her stomach twisted with hunger, and her arms stung in pain. She went through the whole day with eating. That day became days. The days became weeks, and the weeks became months. For five months Effie starved herself. She ate enough to keep from collapsing, but that wasn't enough

"Effie are you okay?" Her friend, Portia asks.

"Yeah, just a little sick," Effie said.

"Effie, you've been saying that for the past five months," Portia points out.

"There's nothing to be worried-"

Effie could barely finish her sentence. She immediately felt light-headed and dizzy.

"Effie?" Portia asks.

The room started spinning, and finally Effie collapsed. Effie was rushed to the hospital. Nothing major was seen, but the size of her stomach. Over the past five months, her stomach shrank. When Effie was able to eat, she could only have broth. She was then checked into a teen mental ward for the next five months. Thankfully, she was able to complete her schoolwork while in the ward. During those six months, Effie's parents divorced. Amelia lived with their mother, while Effie lived with her dad.  
At the age of sixteen, Effie vowed to never starve or cut again. Yes, she got the urges, but she learned how to deal with. Portia gladly helped her through the rough transition.

**One more crappy chapter ending to add to the list. The next chapter, I'm going to start talking about Prim, and her situation again. Just as a friendly reminder, I am not going by the books in the next few chapters.**


	5. The tour

Prim and Effie formed a bond over the past few weeks. Before leaving for the Victory Tour, Effie gave Prim her phone number.

"Call me, whenever. I'll always pick up the phone," Effie says

"Okay," Prim replies

During the Victory Tour, Effie checked her phone more than she normally would.

"Expecting something?" Haymitch asks.

"I may be," Effie says.

"Like what, a gentleman caller?" Haymitch asks.

"That's for me to know, and you to find out," Effie replies.

"Maybe she's making sure everything goes as planned," Peeta says.

"Because everything needs to be-"

"Fabulous?" Haymitch asks finishing her sentence.

"Exactly," Effie says.

That night Effie's phone rings in the middle of the night. She quickly gets out of bed, and over to her dresser. She looks at the caller ID, and sees that it's her mother. She's probably calling to see when they'll be arriving in the Capitol. Effie sens her to voicemail, and tries to go back to sleep. Effie is now restless, and she goes into the kitchen car. She searches the fridge for strawberries, and chocolate. She warms the chocolate in the microwave, and starts to cut the tops of the strawberries off. Accidentally, Effie cuts her finger in the process. The blood rushes to the cut, and Effie runs to the sink. She runs it under water, and tries not to focus on the blood. Her stomach start to twist, and her chest feels a lot heavier.

_Not a relapse, not now. Be strong Effie. You can do this._

Effie fights her urges, and dresses her wound with no problems. Effie heads back into the kitchen, and is greeted by a sleepy Haymitch.

"Why are you up so late?" Haymitch asks.

"I got hungry," Effie replies.

Haymitch leaves without anymore questions, and Effie carries on preparing her treat. At three 'o' clock in the morning, Effie finally retires to bed. The rest of tour goes by quicker than what Effie imagined. After the party at the mansion is over, the three victors return to District Twelve.  
Effie and Portia go home to their shared apartment.

"I thought Cinna was coming over," Effie says with a mischevious grin.

"You know how he is. He's preparing for the next Games," Portia replies rolling her eyes.

The days go by, and Effie finds herself preparing for the Third Quarter Quell. She turns on the TV, and sees the President is about to make the announcement.

"The tributes will be reaped from the existing pool of victors," President announces.

Effie drops her wine glass on the floor. She rewinds it, to make sure she hear correctly. Effie's heart drops to her stomach, and her eyes brim with tears.

A few minutes later her phone rings, and she tries to pull herself together to answer it.

_Hello?_


	6. Bloodstained

"Effie, I've made a terrible mistake," Prim says frantically.

"Prim, what's going on?" Effie asks.

"I thought I could control it, but I couldn't," Prim says before bursting into sobs.

"Prim, I need you to calm down okay?" Effie says grabbing her car keys.

"There's just so much blood," Prim says.

"Look, I'm going to be there as fast as I can. I need you to grab something to put over the wounds, and apply pressure," Effie says.

"Okay," Prim says.

"I have to hang up now, but I promise, I'll there," Effie says.

"Nobody's home, so hurry" Prim says before hanging up.

"Portia, I'm going to be gone for a couple of hours," Effie yells upstairs.

"Be careful!" Portia yells down.

Effie grabs her coat, and speeds her car to the train station. She gets a ticket for the fastest train the Capitol has.

When she gets off of the train, she runs to the Everdeen residence. She bursts inside the house, and calls out Prim's name. She gets no answer. She drops her purse, and starts her search.

She goes through the house calling her name. She runs upstairs, and sees blood leaking from under the door.

She opens the door, and sees Prim passed out on the floor. She throws off her jacket, and gets on the floor. She checks her pulse, and sees that it's not too low. She grabs a towel, and runs it under cold water. She dabs Prim's face with it hoping to rouse her. Prim wipes the water from her face, and groans.

"Prim, honey, it;s Effie. I need you to wake up for me please," Effie says.

Effie rubs the back of her hand against her cheeks. She realizes that she started crying.

"Effie?" Prim says her face scrunched up.

"I'm right here," Effie says.

"I'm so sorry," Prim says.

Effie wraps Prim into an embrace not caring if blood gets on her shirt.

"Please don't ever do that again," Effie says.

Prim nods.

"Okay, let's get you fixed up," Effie says.

She goes downstairs to retrieve her purse, and gets out a first aid kit. She goes up stairs, and sits next to Prim. She cleans her cut, and stitches it up.

"I'll try to come down sometime in the near future to take them out," Effie says.

Prim gives Effie a hug, and Effie returns it.

"I need to get cleaned up, you too," Effie says looking at their bloodstained clothing.

Prim leaves to get cleaned up, and Effie cleans up the blood on the floor. Prim then comes back with one of her Katniss' dresses.

"You need a fresh change of clothes too," Prim says.

"I guess I do," Effie replies.

Effie cleans herself up, and puts on the dress. Effie rids herself of her makeup and wig not seeing the point in having it on anymore. Effie goes downstairs, and Prim looks at her.

"Effie, you look...beautiful," Prim says in awe.

"Thank you Prim," Effie says.

The door opens, and there is a pause.

"Prim, who is this?" Katniss asks.

"Am I that unrecognizable?" Effie questions.

"Effie, I'm sorry...you look...wow," Katniss says.

* * *

As Effie promised, she went back to Twelve to take out Prim's stitches.

"Can I go to the capitol with you?" Prim asks.

"If that's okay with your mother," Effie says.

"I'm fine with that, but she has to be home within the next two days," Lilian says.

"I will have her back by then," Effie says.

"I'll go get my clothes," Prim says.


	7. Volunteers

Effie buys Prim a ticket for the Capitol the day of the Reaping.

_Atleast she'll be able to see her sister before she goes into the Reaping._

Effie leaves the following day to make sure the apartment is in order. Thankfully Effie lives within walking distance of the training center. The weeks go by, and Effie is making sure every final detail is into place.

"You've been cleaning non-stop for weeks, Effie. Is everything alright?" Portia asks.

"Yes, just making sure everything is absolutely perfect," Effie replies.

"Who's coming over?" Portia asks.

"It's not a male if that's what you're thinking," Effie replies.

"Then who is it?" Portia asks.

"Katniss' sister, Prim," Effie says.

"What is she doing coming up here?" Portia interrogates.

"Well I doubt she's been out of District 12, and I just want her to have a little taste of freedom. She's a teenager now, and you know how that feels," Effie replies.

"Don't get in trouble, things are starting to change around here," Portia says.

"I know that. You are the one that needs to be careful actually," Effie says.

"I know what I'm doing...majority of the time," Portia says.

Effie just shakes her head, and the goes back to cleaning. Once Effie has the guest room set up, she starts packing clothes to go to her room in the Training Center. Portia takes her and Effie's bag to the Center while Effie prepares to go to Twelve. Cinna arrives that night with her butterfly dress, and it's absolutely wonderful.

"Cinna, you have no clue how much this means to me," Effie says.

"No problem," Cinna says.

* * *

When Effie arrives in District Twelve, her stomach is in knots. Katniss, being the only female victor, is going into the arena once again. Effie prays that she won't have to send both of her victors in the arena again.

"You look pretty ," Madge says.

"Thank you. And you look pretty today as well," Effie replies.

Madge smiles, and casts her eyes downwards. Not too long after her arrival, it was time for the Reaping.

"And the female tribute for the 75th Hunger Games: Katniss Everdeen," Effie says into the microphone.

Effie looks at Katniss her eyes brimming with tears. Katniss tears her eyes from Effie's and looks into the crowd. Effie dips her hand into the bowl for the next name.

"The male tributes name for the 75th Hunger Games, Haymitch Abernathy," Effie says with relied

"I volunteer," Peeta says.

Effie's knees lock, and she wonders how she's able to stand.

"Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark. District Tweleve's tributes for the 75th Hunger Games," Effie announces.

She gives the trademark "May the odds be ever in your favor", and then disappears into the Justice Building. The four of them are escorted to the station with Prim tagging along. Katniss and Prim talk while Haymitch and Peeta talk about strategies. Effie goes into her room, and she takes off her Capitol look. The wig is off first, and then it's the makeup. Effie takes off her butterfly dress, and trades it in for pink silk nightgown. Effie combs through her honey blonde hair, and puts it into a braid. Before Effie can sprawl out on the bed, there is a knock on her door.

"Come in," Effie says putting on her silk robe.

Effie glances at the door, and sees that it's Katniss.

Katnis doesn't say anything, she just looks at her with curiosity.

"You know what they say, curiosity killed the Kat," Effie jokes.

"I'm just trying to figure you out," Katniss says.

"What do you mean?" Effie asks.

"You actually care," Katniss says.

"Of course I care. I do have a heart you know," Effie says.

"But..." Katniss stops trying to find the right words.

"I'm from the Capitol," Effie says finishing her sentence.


End file.
